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Goddamn Vampires
Seriously.
What is up with vampires? They're so haughty and up their own ass it's unbelievable, they think that just because they've cheated 'death' that they're above everyone else, us mortals, the living. They think they're so great that when they get a beautiful woman, all alone in their castle after the party, that she's not good enough for a ride. Oh no, she's only good enough for dinner. Man, if I could get chicks as easily as vampires... all they have to do is swish their cloak about, mutter a few phrases in some accent, probably Russian, because all Russians are vampires, and bingo, instant meal.
At least I've got more mates than a vampire. Vampires are very unsociable people, egotistic hermits you could say, which is not like me at all. If I was at a party and you asked me where the beer was, I'd point you in the right direction with a friendly grunt. A vampire would just ignore you. Even a witch would tell you where it was. Witches aren't as bad as people make out. Witches are very friendly people, and some are pretty good looking. It's the hags that are ugly. Think about it, if you were a witch you would cast a spell on yourself to make you look beautiful. Hags can't do that. Hags are rejected witches with no magical abilities at all. Walt Disney was such a retard.
Hehe look at him, Mr Fathead, can't control his drool.
Here's an interesting factoid for the day; apparently you can get different types of vampires. Oh yes, The Gothic elite really has something here, apparently, if you feel drained after talking to someone, that person is an "Energy Vampire". That is to say, they such your energy. How inventive. These vampires are so stuck up they're too good for fangs, they don't even want to touch humans, no, they'll just suck all their energy. That does raise the question of how more vampires are made though, because if you get your neck bitten by a vampire you become a vampire, but if you get your energy sucked by an energy vampire, you just get tired, so surely in a couple of years energy vampires will be wiped out because Buffy will kick their ass. It seems like a pretty stupid race to me.
Damn, that is one threatening energy vampire. Give it up goths, your lives suck, and so do your parents. And your vampires.
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