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The Worst Singles of 2005
You've had the best singles of 2005, and there were some good ones in there, such as The Killers, Hard-Fi, and Franz Ferdinand, but now it's on to the songs that made you want to grab your gun and shoot some foreigners, then the people who made the songs, then the people who just wont quit playing them. The egits, it just makes me wanna start poking eyes out.
I think officially the worst song of 2005 was:
The Crazy Frog - Axel F
I don't know why this was so popular when it was released. I mean, as if the ringtone and adverts didn't get on everyone's nerves enough, they released a song, WHICH EVERYONE WENT OUT AND BOUGHT. Come on, it's pathetic, a frog with a dick and old style fighter pilot hat riding an invisible motorbike... pff. There aren't words to describe how much I want to butcher everyone who even uttered the words "bum bum be de bum baaaa bum bum". Humanity was at an all time low when that reached number 1...and then stayed there for four freakin' weeks. I mean, it beat Coldplay, and everyone (except me, it seems) loves Coldplay, who released "Speed Of Sound", which, if I had to rank it, I would say it's their second best track after "Talk". Coldplay suck.
These are some of the other songs and artists which made the worst songs list:
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
You should probably read this first, then you'll understand why I hate James Blunt: Click Here.
Seriously, James Blunt sucks big balls. There's nothing good about any of his songs, unless someone commits suicide to them, then he's accomplished something, but until then... I mean, he's a drugged up hippy with no testicles, who didn't bother promoting his song before he launched it. It entered the UK charts at #12, and 6 weeks later managed #1, where, because of some statistical errors, it remained for 5 weeks. It was beaten off the charts by an equally crap song, McFly's "I'll Be OK". No you wont, you assholes, not after I break out the axe because you just WONT SHUT UP.
McFly
- I Wanna Hold You/All About You/I'll Be OK/Anything Else They Have Ever/Will Ever Release
Damn it, just..why? Why do people like McFly? They're not even remotely good. I mean, I could understand if they took the piss out of Starwars fans, even Son of Dork do that, but.. McFly have nothing to offer anyone, ever. Except all those fans that they sleep with. That's sick. Their oldest fan must be like 4 and a half. In "I wanna hold you" they didn't rhyme "you" with anything, which was the worst idea ever. "I wanna hold you, my skies are turning black". Come on, STOP BUYING THAT CRAP. Then "All About You", the only good thing about this song was that Chris Moyles did a parody, taking the mic out of bald people because they "Don't Use Shampoo". "I'll Be OK" is the worst idea for a song, nobody is OK, ever, is it lonely up there on your pedestal McFly?
Lil Kim - Put Your Lighters Up
Simply, awful. When you listen to it makes you love the police force who arrested her after the single got popular. At least now she's locked up there's nothing coming from her for a year and a day. Thank you America.
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps/Don't Phunk With My Heart
The Black Eyed Peas have never produced any good songs in my opinion, but these two are the worst. My humps? 'My humps my humps my humps, my lovely lady lumps, check it ouuuut' Hold on.. she's telling me to check out her lumps and humps? But she's just spent the whole song telling me to BACK OFF. WHAT DO YOU WANT WOMAN? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM ME? Anyway.. It's a weird song to say the least, and it gets really annoying, especially their rhymes such as "jeans" with "scream". Don't Phunk with my Heart was very repetitive, and didn't really have a meaning, in short, I hated it, and those who bought it should be very, very ashamed. You encouraged them to go on and make even worse songs like My Humps. Thank's for nothing.
50 Cent - Just A Lil' Bit
50 Cent in himself sucks. If he's 50 Cent I'm a Billion Pounds, that's how much he sucks. I'm sorry that was a really lame attempt at wit. Lame is something "Fiddy" is very good at. Here is the first few lyrics from the song.
Damn baby all I need is a lil bit
A lil bit of this, a lil bit of that
Get it crackin' in the club when you hear this shit
Drop it like its hot, get to workin' that back
Go shake that thang, yeah work that thang
Let me see it go up and down
Rotate that thang, I wanna touch that thang
Can you make it go round and round
I don't even understand what he's saying there. He needs a little bit of this and that, a bit of a man's crack, he hears the shit coming, drops it because it's hot, then makes the guy shake his ass, working it, then he goes up and down on him.. I mean, that's the most homo-erotic lyrics I've ever heard. I don't even know if they are lyrics. A rabid dog could have done better than that, and they can't even write.
I'm going to stop now before I start getting so pissed at these artists I go 'shoot my gun up in the club my homie'. ARGH, why do they encourage gun crime, rape, and child molestation? Retards, everywhere, but mostly in Africa, and sometimes in India. There's so much more I could list, such as numerous cold play songs, U2 songs, whatever, they all sucked.
Solon
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