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I'm an Eagle!
I felt pretty big shot today at work when I mastered the air currents. Thinking about it, I'm now on the same level as an Eagle, which is a step up from being on par with a shrimp. Being on that level is boring; you're born, create a website, then die. Thankfully I moved up in the world (get it?) by learning how to utilise heat. Ladies and Gentlemen, today I floated a piece of paper over a radiator.
I call it, "My Day At Work".
In fact it was so awesome that these people in white coats came in and warded me the Nobel Coolness Prize, which is a prize for coolness, don't you know. Then I pressed the button on my desk and turntables popped out and I started mixing out some wicked tunes and the people in white coats dropped them and a load of bikini clad dancing women appeared. Then I broke out some cigars and I was all "WIKKA WIKKA" on the turn tables; fo' shizzling the nizzle, as it were. Then the two hotties in the corner started pulling each other and the customers at the table (I'm a waiter, by the way) came up to me and said "Erm, you wanna stop writing that story and gave us the bill?" So I ignored them because they weren't getting in the party mood. They left a wallet for a tip which was pretty generous of them and I almost felt guilty for not paying attention to them. I couldn't say thank you because they ran out really fast for some reason. Anyway, my guilt vanished when these babes came over and saw to it. You know? It? Yeah, that one. I'm the coolest eagle ever.
Well I would be if any of that actually happened, which it didn't.. except floating the paper. I'm so lonely. I hate being a shrimp.
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